Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

All my life I have said that if I can just get my hands on a guy who uses "u" instead of "you" AND self-proclaims to have a huge dick, all my prayers would be answered. I bet he would also profess to be able to "entertain" me all night long.

NSA Photos

But, do you have bloodwork? Because I really don't want an NSA STD. And, do you have references? Because obviously I am a magnet for creepers and I'd rather not die at the hands of a serial killer I met for random sex via the most awful dating site known to man.

Persistently Ignorant

 

I received several messages from a guy I have nothing in common with which said nothing more than the generic "hey baby how you doin'?" bullshit. I ignored them so at least I wouldn't have to be a bitch to the guy who obviously wasn't bright enough to say more than a couple words. Ignoring messages doesn't work, people, because douchebags can't take a hint. You have to spell it o-u-t for them. 

 

 

 

Yeah, I'm sorry you sent me all those messages, too, buddy. I am, too.

But, they're MY panties!

So. Permanently is or isn't a long time? Because last time I checked, permanently would mean you would never give them back. Is there a new definition for permanently which I am currently unaware of? And, furthermore, would you just like to keep my panties like the scene out of Sixteen Candles? Because you do look like the kind of creep who would need to flash a girl's undies to your friends in order to keep up your rep as a playa...