No More Losers For Me

I only say in my profile half a dozen times that I AM IN NO WAY LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP. That being said, since I know nothing about you and you know nothing about me, then yes, I can absolutely be the right woman. For the rest of my life. I'm tired of dating men who are twice as good who actually read my profile and understand what the fuck I'm saying. I'm ready to accept all your complaments. To tell u the true, I'm ready to do this. Right now.

Idiot.

Whine And Cheese

Mustache Ride

No, it isn't you being a cop that scares me. It's everything else. Especially that mustache...

Insanity Plea

Because tattoos near my collarbones can be considered tit tattoos. 

P.S. Having the words Mad and Crazy as part of your username is probably not a good idea. Might make you seem a little on the unstable side...unstable like jealous stalker. Also, having a video game poster over your shoulder makes me think you still live at home with your mom because you spend more time screwing fake hookers on a game rather than actually doing anything constructive with your life. 

xxxNOxxx

For one, "bad girl undercover" is just ridiculous. It is in no way flattering. Obviously, you didn't read my profile or you would have realized that saying something this fucking stupid and cheesy would get you nowhere. When I looked at your profile, I understood, though. I realized that, in no way, are you intelligent enough to comprehend anything I said. Unfortunately for you, I don't mercy-fuck idiots. 

Sticky Lenses

 God damn I don't want herpes. Or any other STD for that matter...

And, really... I dream every single day about blowing a guy who can't discuss more than 1 sentence about himself.

Way Too Much

For one, I bet you fucking would.

For another, there will never be a man in all the world who could be considered "too much" for me. And, just so you know, I have no idea what "Halla" means but you can rest assured that I didn't message you back not because I am afraid of what you might have in your pants but because I would rather shoot myself in the head than allow you to buy me dinner much less actually see you naked.

Beavis. Or Maybe Butthead.

HA.. Never heard that one before. No really. Tell me another Climax joke. My profile only says I've heard every Climax joke known to man and that you should probably skip that part of your message. But go ahead and try the most unoriginal Climax joke you could possibly use. It just might work this time especially since this one has a typo. Let's see...

Wait, no. Sorry, buddy, but it didn't.

Who Are We Talking About?

I'm confused. Are we talking about me or the girl from the last profile you looked at?

Wow!

Why do you assholes always say that--that I shouldn't be on a dating site? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want to be with anyone? Or that even when I do date someone, I'm still free to talk to whoever the fuck I want to talk to? Or that maybe just maybe I won't settle for any dickhead that shows me some attention? Leave it alone already. I'm on here because I want to be not because I can't leech myself on to the first available swinging dick I come across.

But, thanks for the compliments.

Your What?

He doesn't deserve me bleeping out his stupid fucking name.

Repeat Performance

I read the message loud and clear the first time, asshole. What it said was: You didn't read a word of my profile and have absolutely nothing to say in an actual discussion. You're not going to read my profile, either. I'd have to carry all the conversations while you eagerly waited for me to get bored and send you a picture of my tits. That's so very sweet, but I really wouldn't waste a perfectly awesome tit picture. !!!

I Like You, Your Highness

I have subjects? Really? Because I've always sort of dreamed of being a Queen. Who would have thought I was royalty all this time and never even knew....

Chatterbox

Is it just me or does "chat" sound like something completely juvenile? Also, after not responding to the first message, the answer was no. NO. What I bet is that he forgot all about sending this message the first time. He probably has this sentence ready to copy and paste at any given moment. It's not flattering to be the victim of copycat messaging, boys.