They Call Me "The Stud"

I normally wouldn't have even opened a message from someone who doesn't have a profile picture, but with that username, I was sure this would be a win. I was already planning a cowboy themed wedding. Wow! indeed.

Who really wants to play games? Is that a necessary statement? I mean, realistically, if a drama queen saw this profile, would she really say to herself, "Oh well...he doesn't like games, so I should probably just leave this guy alone" before sighing audibly and moving on to the next? Right.

"I am very straightforward and I will let you know what is on my mind." Yep, so straightforward that you can't say a fucking thing about yourself that takes any personal insight at all whatsoever.

"I am here waiting on you to find me." Translation: I expect you to clean up after me, make my meals, and suck my dick while I watch the game.

I'm also very concerned about this closed eyes first date business. Perhaps this is why there's no picture. It's quite possible I'll be waiting to meet the guy, get struck on the back of the head, and wake up with a concussion and violated orifices. The only explanation I'll have is a note reading, "You've been nailed by The Stud."