Way Too Much

For one, I bet you fucking would.

For another, there will never be a man in all the world who could be considered "too much" for me. And, just so you know, I have no idea what "Halla" means but you can rest assured that I didn't message you back not because I am afraid of what you might have in your pants but because I would rather shoot myself in the head than allow you to buy me dinner much less actually see you naked.

Beavis. Or Maybe Butthead.

HA.. Never heard that one before. No really. Tell me another Climax joke. My profile only says I've heard every Climax joke known to man and that you should probably skip that part of your message. But go ahead and try the most unoriginal Climax joke you could possibly use. It just might work this time especially since this one has a typo. Let's see...

Wait, no. Sorry, buddy, but it didn't.

Who Are We Talking About?

I'm confused. Are we talking about me or the girl from the last profile you looked at?

Wow!

Why do you assholes always say that--that I shouldn't be on a dating site? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want to be with anyone? Or that even when I do date someone, I'm still free to talk to whoever the fuck I want to talk to? Or that maybe just maybe I won't settle for any dickhead that shows me some attention? Leave it alone already. I'm on here because I want to be not because I can't leech myself on to the first available swinging dick I come across.

But, thanks for the compliments.

Your What?

He doesn't deserve me bleeping out his stupid fucking name.

Repeat Performance

I read the message loud and clear the first time, asshole. What it said was: You didn't read a word of my profile and have absolutely nothing to say in an actual discussion. You're not going to read my profile, either. I'd have to carry all the conversations while you eagerly waited for me to get bored and send you a picture of my tits. That's so very sweet, but I really wouldn't waste a perfectly awesome tit picture. !!!

I Like You, Your Highness

I have subjects? Really? Because I've always sort of dreamed of being a Queen. Who would have thought I was royalty all this time and never even knew....